Men like to be seen to achieve. The question however is it possible to achieve? Is life a circular path or journey where we keep coming back to the same spot? Could life on the other hand be a progressive and defined road somewhere? If so where is it supposed to be headed?

June 05 I had a desire to set up a men's group targeting men from the age 16+.It was set up for a number of reason as follows.

Growing percentage of men in prison and mental institution
Number of men without a father figure in their family.
Men who find it hard to express themselves to another male.
Lack of male role models within the community.
Men who are failing to know their roles and responsibility in their marriages.

The men came from different cultures and background which was very intresting because everyone had the privilege to learn about each others culture, and what men in general had to face, sharing with ideas and suggestions  helped  them in a great way

We would meet once a month at various community venues and discuss topics, such as

1. Self development
2. How to change the way we think about ourselves
3. Moving on from our pass hurts and anger
4. Changing our environment

As you may or may not be aware men have different way of expressing themselves compare to women, also it can take longer for them to talk about it to you, and they will when they feel they are ready. At that time they will need a  good listener who will understand them, other wise they will quickly shut down if they don’t get the attention they deserve and go back to their old habits of voiding to communicate, this can take them months or even years before they will talk again and sadly some will never let go or talk about it.

Bolting up our pass hurts can lead us to react angry, bitter for no reason because that very same problem is bothering us. To demonstarte what I mean let me as you a question

Q1. When was the last time you had a problem that was bothering or hurting you for years  anytime someone talks or ask you anything you get angry or shout at them for no reason?

Q2 When was the last time you spoke to someone about it?

Most people would try all they can to run away from it without sharing or talking with someone about it. Over they years working with men not  communicating sharing what we have on our hearts is like a disease that will eventually spread and effect our  everyday lifes ie, marriage, work, children. The worse senario is it can be passed down to our children particular young men to act and behave the way we are.

To put some light into this let me quickly show you one of my  real typical coaching session with one young man

Coach: How are you today?

Client: Not bad ( Showing no intrest looks really down)

Coach: Why are you feeling not bad

Clients: I don’t know why just do

Coach: You last session you were very angry do you still feel that way today
Client: Yes

Coach: why? 

Client: Hmmm! (he paused for a long while and started to talk more in debts)
 
Client: Its my dad he is always angry and I don’t understand why? I have tried talking to him about it be he refused to talk to me, and tells me not to ask him again, I want him to tell me because I don’t like it when he is angry all the time. I know there is something bothering him..but I don’t know what it is?

Coach: How has this effected you

Clients: In every way really find it difficult to get on with my friends they even say that I am to angry all the time and don’t talk to them about it. It upsets me though

Coach: How do you feel now?

Clients: feel good that someone listens  and understand me and don’t judge my attitude  being  angry all the time, but look at the positive side  how you can help…so yes its good!

That young man has now gone onto University for the first time  feeling a lot more in control

Ok we can be quick to jump up and shout it is there ‘Fault’ or you are soposeto be a ‘MAN’ its is very easy to label them what we feel fit for them to be but to figure out why they have become so angry, you begin to see a different light to their life.

Men get angry for many reasons and some of them may be effecting you right now. Here are a few examples:

1. Bad relationship ( Partner/ wife)
2. Divorce
3. Low pay salary
4. Debts
5. Single parent
6. Crime victims
7. Bad diet/health problems
8. Lack of opportunities
9. Business failure
10. No social life
11. Unemployed ( Long term)
12 Racism
13. No father role model/ lack of communication

From that it then leads to

1. Mental health
2. Prison
3. Depression
4. Loneliness/Unhappy
5. Drinking heavy
6. Smoking more

A Important reminder as follows: ( Please read this before moving on)

While in some cases  life coaching is not advice or appropriate to anyone who is

1. Currently receiving treatment for mental health problems
2. Suicidal feelings
3 Eating disorder
4. Suffering from acute depression
5. Misuses drugs and alcohol

Your life coach would advice you to consult your appropriate health professionals. Also all your discussions and records will be kept confidential

I could go on forever with this list but the main point is not dealing with your problems sooner rather than later can have long term effects. I have coached men and young people who have taken more control of their life’s in a positive way, all because they acknowledge they had a problem and took immediate action.

Right now as you read this you may know a young man your dad or husband going through some issues that need be dealt with

The mentalk group is all about men linking and sharing among each other through the pod cast, teleseminars, newsletters and any other form of communications building up each other

Mentalk shopping cart (Click Here) any of the t-shirts, hats you purchase will go towards the mentalk group future developments.

See the mentalk testimonials (Click here)

I need some coaching what do I do now?
Click onto the (link here) and you will be forward to the enquiry page fill out all the details. We then arrange convenience date for your free 1 hr complimentary session and that’s it.
Well done you have made a very positive step to improving your life for 2008! I look forward hearing from you.

Free men and young people articles to read:

http://www.nhs.uk/magazines/men4060/Pages/men40-60home.aspx

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men's_health_risks